The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
