are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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