my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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