I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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