Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
