I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
