I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize