I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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