its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
