I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
