fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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