if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
zippers are such a cool invention
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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