Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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