why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
