Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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