What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
