If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
