Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
