WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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