i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
