WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
