My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
