love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
