She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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