I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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