i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
