he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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