Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
