Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
