when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
