she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
