As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
