They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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