I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize