four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
