Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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