cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
