he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
