Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
