haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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