Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
