She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
