Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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