Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
