her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
