I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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