i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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