You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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