I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
