Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
