Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
