if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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