I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
