I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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