I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
