...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize