I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
