left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize