just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
