i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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