Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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