That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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